Human Torture

There's an unexpected form of human torture I experienced yesterday. It's called waking up from anesthesia. So I go in for minor surgery yesterday morning. I was told I would be in state of "conscious sedation" for the procedure. Let me tell you...there was nothing "conscious" about it. Once they started pumping in the happy juice, I quickly entered la-la land, and they allegedly did things to my body that I dare not even think about!

Next thing I knew, however, I was ripped from my blissful state and started hearing the familiar voices of doctors and nurses shouting commands to me. "Wake up, Kari! Wake up...open your eyes." My mouth feels like I have cotton in it, and I struggle to open my blurred eyes. "Hold your head up, Kari!" I raise my head, only to have it flop backward instead. "Do you want some water?" I think I nod in agreement, or perhaps they interpreted my bobbling head as an indication of agreement.

Nonetheless, I find myself gulping some nice, cool water, only to have it dribble down my chin a moment later. The nurse leaves Jeremy to help me get dressed, and I find myself hanging on to the edge of the sink, purging the water from my uncooperative stomach. I struggle the entire time to keep my eyes open, but every impulse in my body is telling me to sleep. I tell myself that I must be in hell.

As they wheel me out to the car, the nurse assures Jeremy that I will sleep this off in two or three hours. I nod off and on as we drive home, and then Jeremy leads me to the bed in some sort of awkward dance with my jelly-filled legs. SEVEN hours later, I emerge from the stuporous state that this "conscious sedation" has put me in, and I vow that I will never again allow myself to go under anesthesia!